| Priest Discovers that Pain is not Punishment (Published in the Catholic Times February 15, 2009) |
As Father Bill Hahn Pastor of St
Peter Chillicothe and St Mary
Waverly parishes reclined in the 747
on his way to New Mexico, he closed
his eyes and envisioned the retreat
he was about to lead as chaplain.
He knew it would be different from
any other retreat. He would be in a
remote part of the country, in the
backwoods of the Gila National
forest. He would be working along
side young men rebuilding trails for
the forest service. He would
celebrate Mass out of doors, amidst
God’s creation.
Peter Chillicothe and St Mary
Waverly parishes reclined in the 747
on his way to New Mexico, he closed
his eyes and envisioned the retreat
he was about to lead as chaplain.
He knew it would be different from
any other retreat. He would be in a
remote part of the country, in the
backwoods of the Gila National
forest. He would be working along
side young men rebuilding trails for
the forest service. He would
celebrate Mass out of doors, amidst
God’s creation.
He imagined himself, on the mountain,
among cathedral-high trees, looking
out across the landscape to see a
better view of life, himself, and the
future that God had in store for him.
The weight of his backpack
symbolized the weight of the
responsibilities, concerns and
distractions of everyday life, the
weight that he longed to shed for 11
days so he could draw closer to Our
Lord.
among cathedral-high trees, looking
out across the landscape to see a
better view of life, himself, and the
future that God had in store for him.
The weight of his backpack
symbolized the weight of the
responsibilities, concerns and
distractions of everyday life, the
weight that he longed to shed for 11
days so he could draw closer to Our
Lord.
For those 11 days, Father Hahn and 9
men shed their inordinate
attachments. To the busy life, to cell
phones, to all of the amenities that
we enjoy in the modern life such as
delicious food, water from a tap,
flush toilets. The asceticism may
seem to extreme to many, but to
these men it was essential to step
away, like John the Baptist, to go into
the wilderness and make straight the
path of the Lord. It was essential for
their spiritual growth.
men shed their inordinate
attachments. To the busy life, to cell
phones, to all of the amenities that
we enjoy in the modern life such as
delicious food, water from a tap,
flush toilets. The asceticism may
seem to extreme to many, but to
these men it was essential to step
away, like John the Baptist, to go into
the wilderness and make straight the
path of the Lord. It was essential for
their spiritual growth.
The expedition began with 8 miles of
trail that was blocked by fallen trees.
The only way to get back in to the
forest was to backpack and carry
tents, sleeping bags and the hand
tools and food and water that they
would need to do the work for the US
Forest Service. Not even horse
packers could penetrate the forest at
this location. So after being certified
in cross cut sawing the men set off
and hiked.
trail that was blocked by fallen trees.
The only way to get back in to the
forest was to backpack and carry
tents, sleeping bags and the hand
tools and food and water that they
would need to do the work for the US
Forest Service. Not even horse
packers could penetrate the forest at
this location. So after being certified
in cross cut sawing the men set off
and hiked.
After two days of hiking and grueling
work, Father Hahn felt the pain.
Searing pain at his heal. A burning,
raw type pain: “I found myself weak
and vulnerable”, I was at a point that I
could not hike or work. I felt like I, as
a man, was letting down my band of
brothers. I had to struggle with the
masculine concept of self worth, of
contributing to the team. What I
thought was an obstacle was really a
blessing.
My band of brothers surrounded me
with support and encouragement.
They had an authentic spirituality that
lifted me. And when I celebrated Mass
I could feel their reverence. These
men are moving quite far in their
spiritual path and it was a privilege for
me to be able to bring the sacraments
to them in the wilderness.
This experience was a victory. The
victory of staying back and not
working and staying in prayer with
our Lord. And that is why my tool is
the cross, it is the tool of suffering,
and a tool of joy…because it is from
Christ that I received the grace to
endeavor in His work.”
My desire was to work side by side
these men, my brothers. However,
through quiet listening in prayer I
discerned that God’s work for me
was to be Chaplain. That in order to
sustain my brothers I had to remain in
prayer and the only way God could
get that through to me was to allow
me to have these blisters. So, I
became more open to God and
through the work of the Holy Spirit I
was able to serve Him and the men.
these men, my brothers. However,
through quiet listening in prayer I
discerned that God’s work for me
was to be Chaplain. That in order to
sustain my brothers I had to remain in
prayer and the only way God could
get that through to me was to allow
me to have these blisters. So, I
became more open to God and
through the work of the Holy Spirit I
was able to serve Him and the men.
Not every man or priest is designed
for this experience, but if you are it
gives you an opportunity to retreat to
the mountains, to simplify life, to get
away from the artificiality of the world,
to be with a band of brothers, to be a
spiritual father. It also helps you grow
in your own masculinity. During
seminary, you have a band of brothers
that challenges you physically,
intellectually, and spiritually. As a
priest moves into the parish, the need
for this camaraderie does not
diminish.
for this experience, but if you are it
gives you an opportunity to retreat to
the mountains, to simplify life, to get
away from the artificiality of the world,
to be with a band of brothers, to be a
spiritual father. It also helps you grow
in your own masculinity. During
seminary, you have a band of brothers
that challenges you physically,
intellectually, and spiritually. As a
priest moves into the parish, the need
for this camaraderie does not
diminish.
Preferred Reading
Religious:
Cultural:
Religious:
- The Holy Bible
- The Liturgy of the Hours
- The Book of Christian Prayer
- The Catechism of the Catholic Church
- Spiritual Combat by Lorenzo Scupoli
- Spiritual Combat Revisited by Fr. Jonathan Robinson
- The Way by Saint Jose Marie Escriva
- Christianity and the Crisis of Culture, Spe Salvi, Charity and Truth, and all works by
Pope Benedict or Joseph Ratzinger - Loborem Excercens, The Theology of the Body and all works by John Paul the Great
- Be a Man by Fr. Larry Richards
- Wild at Heart, The Way of the Wild Heart by John Eldridge
- The Screw Tape Letters, Mere Christianity by CS Lewis
- Orthodoxy by CK Chesterton
- He Leadeth Me by Fr. Walter Ciszek,S.J.
- How the Catholic Church Built Western Civilization
- Excorcism and the Churc Militant
Cultural:
- The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey
- The 5th Discipline by Peter Senge
- The Mindful Universe by Henry Stapp
- Incompleteness: The Proof and Paradox of Kurt Godel by Rebecca Goldstein
Prayers from the Liturgy of the Hours:
Lord, God of strength, You gave your Son victory over death. Direct Your Church's
fight against evil in the world. Clothe us with the weapons of light and unite us under
one banner of love, that we may receive our eternal reward after the battle of earthly
life. Amen
God our Father, work is your gift to us, a call to reach new heights by using our
talents for the good of all. Guide us as we work and teach us to live in the spirit that
has made us your sons and daughters. In the love that has made us brothers and
sisters. Grant this through Christ our Lord. Amen
Father, Yours is the harvest and Yours is the vineyard: You assign the task and pay a
wage that is just. Help us to meet this day's responsibilities, and let nothing separate
us from Your love. Grant this through Christ our Lord. Amen
God of mercy, this midday moment of rest is your welcome gift. Bless the work we
have begun, make good its defects and let us finish it in a way that pleases You.
Grant this through Christ our Lord. Amen.
Send the fire of the Holy Spirit deep within us, Lord so that we can serve you with
chaste bodies and please you with pure minds. Amen
Responsory:
We are warriors now, fighting on the battlefield of faith, and God sees all we do; the
Angels watch and so does Christ.
-What honor and glory and joy, to do battle in the presence of God and to have Christ
approve our victory.
Let us arm ourselves in full strenght and prepare ourselves for the ultimate struggle
with blameless hearts, true faith and unyileding courage.
-What honor and glory and joy, to do battle in the presence of God and to have Christ
approve our victory.
From Psalm 24:
The Lord's is the earth and its fullness
the world and all its peoples.
It is He who set in on the seas;
on the waters He made it firm.
Who shall climb the mountain of the Lord?
Who shall stand in his holy place?
The man with clean hands and pure heart,
who desires not worthless things,
who has not sworn so as to decieve his neighbor.
Amos 5:8
He who made the Pleiades and Orion
who turns darkness into dawn,
and darkens day into night;
Who summons waters of the sea,
and pours them out upon the surface of the earth;
Whose name is Lord
Antiphon:
Armed with God's justice and power, let us prove ourselves through paitient
endurance.
Psalm 104 verses 16 through 23:
The trees of the Lord drink their fill
the cedars he planted on Lebanon;
there the birds build their nests:
on the tree top the stork has her home,
the goats find a home on the mountains
and the rabbits hide in the rocks.
You made the moon to mark the months
the sun the time for its setting.
When You spread the darkness it is night
and all the beasts of the forest creep forth.
The young lions roar for their prey
and ask their food from God.
At the rising of the sun they steal away
and go to rest in their dens.
Man Goes forth to his work,
to labor till evening falls.
Job 38:3
Gird your loins like a man. I will question you and you shall declare me.
Lord, God of strength, You gave your Son victory over death. Direct Your Church's
fight against evil in the world. Clothe us with the weapons of light and unite us under
one banner of love, that we may receive our eternal reward after the battle of earthly
life. Amen
God our Father, work is your gift to us, a call to reach new heights by using our
talents for the good of all. Guide us as we work and teach us to live in the spirit that
has made us your sons and daughters. In the love that has made us brothers and
sisters. Grant this through Christ our Lord. Amen
Father, Yours is the harvest and Yours is the vineyard: You assign the task and pay a
wage that is just. Help us to meet this day's responsibilities, and let nothing separate
us from Your love. Grant this through Christ our Lord. Amen
God of mercy, this midday moment of rest is your welcome gift. Bless the work we
have begun, make good its defects and let us finish it in a way that pleases You.
Grant this through Christ our Lord. Amen.
Send the fire of the Holy Spirit deep within us, Lord so that we can serve you with
chaste bodies and please you with pure minds. Amen
Responsory:
We are warriors now, fighting on the battlefield of faith, and God sees all we do; the
Angels watch and so does Christ.
-What honor and glory and joy, to do battle in the presence of God and to have Christ
approve our victory.
Let us arm ourselves in full strenght and prepare ourselves for the ultimate struggle
with blameless hearts, true faith and unyileding courage.
-What honor and glory and joy, to do battle in the presence of God and to have Christ
approve our victory.
From Psalm 24:
The Lord's is the earth and its fullness
the world and all its peoples.
It is He who set in on the seas;
on the waters He made it firm.
Who shall climb the mountain of the Lord?
Who shall stand in his holy place?
The man with clean hands and pure heart,
who desires not worthless things,
who has not sworn so as to decieve his neighbor.
Amos 5:8
He who made the Pleiades and Orion
who turns darkness into dawn,
and darkens day into night;
Who summons waters of the sea,
and pours them out upon the surface of the earth;
Whose name is Lord
Antiphon:
Armed with God's justice and power, let us prove ourselves through paitient
endurance.
Psalm 104 verses 16 through 23:
The trees of the Lord drink their fill
the cedars he planted on Lebanon;
there the birds build their nests:
on the tree top the stork has her home,
the goats find a home on the mountains
and the rabbits hide in the rocks.
You made the moon to mark the months
the sun the time for its setting.
When You spread the darkness it is night
and all the beasts of the forest creep forth.
The young lions roar for their prey
and ask their food from God.
At the rising of the sun they steal away
and go to rest in their dens.
Man Goes forth to his work,
to labor till evening falls.
Job 38:3
Gird your loins like a man. I will question you and you shall declare me.
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